Just for Kicks

I found the bitches in Stamford.  They hang out at the NYSC in the Cardio Kickboxing class.  Hopefully they don't read this blog (and I doubt they do seeing as so far I've made 2 page impressions).  So last week I decided I was tired of running on the treadmill and I missed the classes I used to take pre-kids in the city.  I was one of those girls who took two classes in a row, stood in the front of the class and chit chatted with the instructor.  It's been a long time since those gym rat days but I thought a yoga class was a great way to start back.  I chose this yoga class since Tim would be home from work and could put the kids to bed, there would be no rush, and no paying a sitter.  A perfect way to release some stress at the end of a long day.  I got to the class a few minutes early and was chatting on the phone when I entered the studio, grabbed a yoga mat, found a nice inconspicuous spot, unrolled the mat, started stretching and then hung up from my call.  As I hung up I noticed a group of women giving me a "look" and I looked from one to the other and said (appropriately), "what". 

 "Why do you have a MAT?" the "leader" of the pack asked.  

"Well it's a YOGA class right?"  I said 

"Uh, (snicker, snicker), nooooo, far from it" she responded.  "It's kickboxing".  (nudge, nudge to her friends, snicker, snicker)

"Oh, my schedule said yoga, so I assumed it was yoga".

"Well APPARENTLY you haven't taken yoga in a long time since it's been kickboxing for 3 months now!" 

"You're right, it's been a long time but that's fine.  I'll take the kickboxing",  I said and went to return my mat.  I heard her calling after me, "it's FAR from yoga... blah blah... really hard class..."

At this point I was a little annoyed, because I really wanted yoga but there was no way I was leaving after these comments (challenges).

It got better.

A six foot something, blonde bombshell approached me.  "Hi, I'm _____ (just in case I'll withhold her name) and I'm the instructor for this class and I heard you thought this was yoga?  Well, it's not, it's a really hard kickboxing class and as you can see I'm pretty tan because I'm a fitness competitor and I've started the tanning process and I'm not allowed to sweat because the tan could drip off of me.  So I'm not able to teach the class really, I can just call out the moves so if you aren't familiar with the class you're not going to be able to keep up because I won't be leading the class".  

WHAT?  At this point I thought I was being punked.  Was she serious?  I just looked at her trying not to laugh/cry and said, "I'll be fine".  My confidence level as far as how in-shape I looked and how fit I am after 2 kids started quickly dropping.  But now, game on.  I was going to "kick" ass in this class!

About 15 minutes into the class I was hyperventilating a bit, the choreography was straight out of a Madonna video and my knees wanted to give out but I did finish it.  I wanted to give a high-five to someone at the end but no one wanted to congratulate me on a class well done.  I didn't walk quite right for a few days after that class but I will admit - I have been back (Tim challenged me to go back with swim goggles and a hula hoop but I declined).  I'm not part of the "in" crowd there and although part of me wants to be... I think I'm ok just leaving without limping and the next newbie I see, I'll be sure to welcome with open arms.